Growing Down

Facilitator at Snehadhara, Lakshmi Karunakaran talks about her journey of working with children and how she has learnt the most powerful lessons from the children she works with.

I have resisted the urge to work with children for a long time. Children had no place in the corporate world that I belonged to, of deliverables and deadlines, clients and boardroom meetings. But two years ago, I left the corporate world to work with children. 

To concerned family members and friends, I had nothing more than ‘that is what my gut says’ as ‘logical explanation’. That I guess, was my first step backwards…towards becoming ‘childish’.While for the rest of the adult world, ‘childish’ was a term for irrational behaviour, and illogical thinking, for me, it was something I wanted to be. Soon I realised that the reason I was drawn to working with children was to get in touch with, and nourish the child in me, who in many ways was arrested in growth.  

Shortly after I left the corporates, I moved to a small village in Kolar, and took a year off to live in a village and work with Government schools. I realised that the children in rural India might seem deprived to a privileged urban youngster, but they have strong instincts and an earnestness that none of the city dwellers can match. Over the last two years, I have worked with varied population of children, from government schools and slums, children with special needs, and children with learning difficulties and disorders.

Children are the kindest teachers. They have held the clearest mirror in front of me. They have gently nudged me to understand my strengths and limitations, and helped me see them and myself differently. While each child I have come in contact with has deeply nourished me, I am reminded of a few who have taught me valuable lessons that I have taken back home. Some of the children are those I worked with at the Govt schools, the others are children at Snehadhara.

Dilip – One look of kindness is worth a million words.

Chitra- The violence that you see in your home and community, can never tear down the compassion in your heart.

Illias – Storytelling is a powerful transformational tool. 

Fatima – You can change the course of another’s life by just being yourself.

Ahan- Always seek clarity in everything that you do.

John – There is so much joy in drawing.

Naman – It’s OK to disagree, especially when you ‘know’ what you are talking about.

Nihal- The life force in you is powerful, and it will guide you. Gently.

Srujan - You don’t have to be old to be wise.

Naren – Life is a musical journey.

Arvind – There is immense joy in small things. 

Archana –The enthusiasm to learn is half the learning itself.

Each of these children, are now a part of me.  The valuable lessons they have taught me have become guiding forces for the work that I do with myself and the children that I will work with in the future. Those, who will help me in my journey backwards, of becoming a child again. 

Getting in Touch with the Child in Me

Recently, Aditi Neelakantan, an aspiring medical student, volunteered to work at Snehadhara. She mentioned early on that she had never worked with children and had doubts about how well she would do here. But she was keen that she tests it herself.  The next three months became transformational for not only the children she worked with, but also for Aditi herself. 

She writes about the times that she spent at Snehadhara, and how the children taught her lessons that books never could.

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‘Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.’I love this quote from The Little Prince; it is witty, funny and it acknowledges and celebrates the wonderful and incredible minds of children. It made me laugh, and then think.

Rewind. A little over three months ago, I was given the most amazing opportunity to change my life. And I took it, only that time I didn’t recognize it as the most amazing opportunity to change my life. 

My first day at Snehadhara Foundation. Ah, what a day that was! As I made my way into the building, I was a bundle of nerves; awkward, anxious but yes, anticipative. I had never really interacted with kids before. Then, during the usual morning Circle Time ritual, as I looked around me and tried to gauge how best I could boost my level of acceptance, a child came came right up and demanded to sit next to me. Well, not too bad a start.

As I made my way to class, I was assigned a wonderful child. He was a smarty! It was a grammar lesson, and this little man was done with his worksheets in minutes. He then took a few sheets of paper from me, and wrote down and drew with utmost concentration – as I later came to know were his objects of fascination – USHA fans and Omni vans!

As the day further progressed, I learnt a little more of him and a few of the other wonderful children at the school. It had been quite something, and I adored every single moment of it.I loved this place!

Out here at Snehadhara, education has a different meaning. It is rather a way of life, as it ought to be. I had the privilege of seeing Arts-Based Therapy live in action, and it was remarkable. There is something about watching children engage with Art, be it making vibrant splashes of colour across the paper or drumming to their own tunes on the djembe, that leaves you amazed. Art is magical, for it has the ability to break past invisible boundaries and form a powerful bond with a person’s inner self.

I also learnt a very important lesson about learning; while we can guide a child, it is essential not to overwhelm him/her with support, for this act, even though it is meant with the kindest of intentions, often does more harm than good. It can incapacitate their innate creativity and impulses. There is no greater satisfaction than seeing a child discover and learn something by himself. Experience indeed is the best teacher.

Coming back to my rather dramatic opening, I claim this place changed my life. 

How?  During my time here, I have evolved. These children taught me how to shed my inhibitions, something we all desperately need to learn how to do. It is liberating to let go. 

I am not a singer. Not at all. And yet, everyday for almost three months, I sang. Out loud, on replay. I had to, to get a child to eat her ‘yellow’ dosa.  

I am an introvert. Public speaking scares the living daylights out of me. But, when I’m in class, speech is inevitable. It wasn’t exactly eloquence, but I learnt how to express myself OUT LOUD to a roomful of people. These kids provided me with a fresh perspective on things; life is so much beyond what it seems.I have a long way to go, of course. But, if at the end of a rather hard and frustrating day, you still have a little child run towards you and give you a hug, well, maybe things aren’t all that hard and frustrating after all.   

The Little Prince was right. These children provided me with a fresh perspective on things; life is so much beyond academia, getting into college and getting a good job. Helping people is much more fulfilling and time well spent. I have received more than I could have ever imagined from this experience; it has opened me up to an array of opportunities and possibilities.     

Where the mind is without fear

Priya Rao recently left a decade long corporate career to try her hands at things that she loves and finds meaningful. It was around this time that she came in touch with the children at Snehadhara. 
Since then she has been working with our senior students doing what they all love - cooking. In this heartfelt piece Priya describes her journey with the children over the last few months and how she has started to look at life differently.

Where the mind is without fear

During one of our Sunday evening visits to her place, over a cup of steaming tea, when Lakshmi casually mentioned ‘Snehadhara Foundation’, little did I realize that six months later I would be sitting here writing about my own journey at Snehadhara. Our ten minute conversation that day had me leaving her place expressing my interest in ‘being a part’ of the place. Soon I met the team and the children. A memorable, short but honest conversation marked the beginning of my journey here.


My inherent interest in cooking and my own experiments in the kitchen could not have had a better opportunity ( or found a better meaning?) than ‘Oota Thota’ – the center’s flagship program in cultivating and encouraging ‘cooking’ for independent living amongst the children. Six months into the program and we have together enjoyed our various chopping, grating, peeling, boiling, kneading and mixing sessions in the kitchen. From writing a recipe, measuring out ingredients to making last minute impromptu changes in the recipe while in the kitchen has been truly fun as well as most enriching. Through our kitchen experiments together, I have learnt to unlearn, let go of rigidities and most importantly, overcome the fear of outcome – and to experiment.  All this has been most reflective in my journey of my own life. 

Priya (right) works with a child in a session on dyeing

Each child has and continues to contribute towards teaching aspects of living life in ways that one typically either overlooks or assumes the presence of it already. 

I knew ‘Origami’ was about folding paper into ‘shapes’ of what we see as animals/birds and the flowers – however, I did not know that the art of folding paper in itself was beautiful! I knew weaving as coordinating colors and patterned weaves, but I did not realize that randomly matched colors and patterns woven spontaneously could result in a tapestry so colorful and lively. I know tie-dye is used to create patterns on fabric but did not understand that tying a piece of fabric in itself can create wonderful patterns! I have understood spontaneity, understood random and understood involvement – and what they actually mean and their outcomes – thanks to the children.

To let go of attachment and thereby the fear of losing, has been an important lesson that the children teach me. I see an Ahan, Naman and Nihal most involved in baking a loaf of bread - in recalling the recipe, writing the recipe, reading it aloud, gathering the ingredients, measuring them out, then kneading, mixing, chopping, grating and finally till it goes into the oven. But once out of the oven, they are not there anywhere around! They would have gone back to their routine and their space - with no complexities of unnecessary ownership. 

Detachment is divine indeed. It is then no wonder that the mind is indeed without fear. And a mind without fear is a mind that truly lives LIFE.

Children, Drum Your Heart Out!

We are blessed to have a team of wonderful people working with us and our children through the year. One among them is Ashirwad Acharekar. Ashirwad is a facilitator in our Pipilika program, and has used drumming extensively in his work with children and adults. His innate warmth, love for children and unique facilitation style brings forth the subtler dimensions of engaging with oneself and a group.
In this blog Ashirwad brings to us a leaf from his diary, notes from one such drumming session with the children and his reflection on it…


Children, Drum Your Heart Out!


The children did not settle down, in the beginning.  Pratinav was reluctant to come into the class room.  He was cajoled and told that the door wouldn’t be closed unless he came in, and slowly he consented.  He sat in the corner and was playing his piece on the djembe.  He initially said ‘I don’t like to sing’.  So, we created a tune and sang ‘I don’t like to sing’.  Slowly, he settled in.

Arvind cried and shouted in the beginning.  I leaped towards the fan like a monkey and fell down with a wobble.  He was amused and insisted that I did it again and again. That settled him, in no time. Soon, he was smiling and ready to try his hands on the tabla and djembe.  He enjoyed listening to the songs and was responding to the drumming.

Karthik was interested in the nuts-bolts of the congo.  He unscrewed one and put it back.  He liked the uneven surface of the tabla and tried plucking off the shyai from the dagga a couple of times.  He banged on the congo many times.  He liked to occupy the chair placed behind the congo.  He tried his hands on the tabla and dholak too.  After the congo, when the dholak was given to him, he tried to bang it from the top.  A staff demonstrated, how to bang it from the sides and he imitated it well.  He was frequently moving from one instrument to another, one corner to the other.

Ashirwad works with children in a Pipilika Session

Sai Charan walked in midway through the class, were doing an exercise, wherein I wanted to sensitise children, and had told them to lie down with their backs touching the ground.  When the body is in full contact with the ground, the sound conducted to the whole being is different than when you stand.  I wanted to experiment with this.  Sai seemed restless. He wanted to go to his mother and was crying for her.  Most children managed to lie down on the ground.  A good 3-4 minutes of drumming happened, when they were lying down.  Sai Charan did multiple rounds of lying-sitting-bowing, almost like he was doing a prayer, Namaz.

Ahan chose to move to a small store room, attached to the session-room.  Anagha, a staff, left a djembe inside and later we found that he had picked it and was playing it.

 It was the first session for Abhiram.  He had never stayed in the past with anybody else, other than his mother.  While his mom was in the parents’ session, he became an integral part of the children’s session.   He has motor difficulties and is unable to stand independently. Anagha, supported him. When the drumming started, he moved back and forth with that rhythm of the drums. To check if Abhiram’s rhythmic movement had anything to do with the drums, I decided to play the drums to a rhythm alternately. When I stopped playing the drums, I noticed that Abhiram’s movements when out of sync. They automatically fell into sync, almost seamlessly, when I restarted the drums.

My sons, Chirantan and Arnav were playing their drums as an accompaniment for songs like ‘jaaa ne ja, dhoondata fir yahan’, ‘though all things perish from under the sky’ and other fast paced songs.

Towards the end of the session, I made sounds like a cow calls, those of a bull calling a cow and the cow saying ‘no’.  We did this musically with cat and dog calls as well.  The sound ‘Aa’ exercises the navel area of the body.  The idea of making these sounds was to get in touch with the energy centre and open up the possibility of changing energy patterns in the children.

Overall, there was a sense of peaceful chaos in the session. I felt satisfied that each child soaked in the activities and the experience differently, in their own unique way. When I reflect on this session and the many other sessions that I have facilitated, I realise that drumming can be very intense and it has the ability to crack open an untouched corner of our being.

Every child is an artist, and I long to be a child again

Vani Joshi talks about how an experiment with art activities with her son, turned out to be a life changing experience…


Not too long ago, in the summer of 2014, Kabir had his annual term break. He and I had time on our hands and we wanted to spend it together. I did not want any gadgets or devices to come in the way of this time. I wanted to make the most of it. Just us and what we create together.

And so we did Art! We drew, we painted, we danced, we sang, we did gardening, cooking, we made our own sensory play stuff, created our own games, and had fun. There was very little direction in each of these activities. We had our materials and our imagination. We didn’t worry about anything going wrong, because there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in art! There was joy while we did what we did, and a contentment that would prevail even after the activity was over.

Every evening we would showcase what we did that day and would eagerly look forward to the next day's activities. I wouldn't really spend a lot of time preparing or planning. I simply like to imagine situations that would be fun and try to create activities around them. In case of Kabir, I had a few sensory and fine motor goals in mind, which helped me along in deciding what to do in addition to having fun. But ‘fun’ was the key!

The vacation was over before we knew it, but we had created beautiful artwork and myriad memories. I decided to share the pictures of our summer fun on Facebook. Soon, my friends mentioned how much they enjoyed the art work, and became curious to know how we did it. This was very encouraging.

And then, one of the friends, asked me to come over to Snehadhara Foundation, and introduce the same activities with a group of children at the centre. I was nervous. I am not an artist, nor am I an art teacher. And I have very little experience doing any artwork myself! With encouragement from the staff at Snehadhara, I decided to give it a shot.

I created the session plans for the first month and showed up for my very first session. The experience was nothing like I had expected it to be. Both the facilitator and the children were new to each other. While I had a plan to execute, I tried consciously to not lose sight of the key elements of communication and fun. I tried to talk to the children and keep them engaged in the activity, incorporating songs and staying spirited. I did encounter issues of anxieties, interests and readiness but they all became takeaways and guidelines for the future sessions.

The response from the children themselves was nothing short of overwhelming! They welcomed me with an open heart, with love. They were willing to walk that extra mile of trying to work on new projects, new materials even if they were not the most comfortable with them or did not have the readiness to work independently. They were willing to try and they're the ones who encouraged me. I get to research and plan for new activities and the experiences they would offer. I have begun to understand the children's needs and interests and expectations from a session so I am able to better structure my activities around them. I am able to create a balance between familiarity and novelty so that the children can sustain interest and also participate as independently as possible.

An important part of my sessions is display and appreciation of the created artwork. It is one of the most rewarding aspect of the activity, to see the kids' faces light up as their work is displayed and their efforts is appreciated. It gives everyone involved a sense of accomplishment and a natural closure to the activity.

It's been over three months since I first started these weekly art sessions, and today I look forward to each one of them. What started as an idea to keep Kabir engaged during summer break has now become a very significant part of my life. Each of the sessions have been emotionally enriching and deeply motivating. Through these experiences I have come to learn so much about art, myself and life itself. And each of tis has given a new dimension to my interactions with my son, Kabir.

I am sharing with you what I see as learnings from this experience:

• Being a non-verbal medium, children engage with art spontaneously and their involvement is complete. There is no greater connection that you see a child involved in an activity he/she enjoys.
• The process of creation is experiential in nature. Engaging in making an artwork is both relaxing and cathartic. Asking the child as to what they have made may not yield answers as it is not the child's need to tell, but our need to know. The child has already expressed what he/she wanted to say through the artwork.
• Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up- Pablo Picasso. Art has great significance in fostering independence, individuality and helping children become more like themselves instead of like someone else. It also has a bearing on our role as facilitators. While we can direct the children, we should not instruct too much so as to not hamper the child's inherent creativity and spontaneity. Conformity is never the goal if creativity.
• There is no right or wrong in art. The "process" is where the magic happens. It is more important than the "product".

The best part of the experience has been watching the children engage with art. The children work without judging themselves, they paint freely, they enjoy the process whole heartedly, and they live in the moment- that is the greatest gift.


Oh what wouldn't I give to be able to paint like a child...again!

Children and Me

When I was asked to write about “Children and me” or “The child in me”, I wondered where to begin. As I thought about it, I went back in time to the lovely moments I have had with children, some that took me to heights of ecstasy, some that showed me a different perspective and some that taught me lessons for life. While penning down these few words, my heart reaches out with gratitude to the children of the world.
To Pooja for letting me experience “interconnectedness” with a simple but profound quote, “Sumathi, I am in love with the whole world!”

To Krithika who asked me after I had admonished a few children for not listening to me, “Were you angry with me because you were worried about the consequences, or were you angry because we did not listen to you?”

To Sandeep who has a severe speech deficit but every morning, points to the ‘sun’ and says “Sandeep, sun!”

To Keerthi, who time and again reminds me how to enjoy every moment by just being present there!

To Mubaraka who gave me her perspective of how contrasting I look when I am enjoying a session with her vis-à-vis when I discipline her with her comment, “Yesterday you were so small, today you are so big!”

To Samarth who everyday reminds me everyday that true communication is not only verbal with his non-verbal, soul searching look filled with divine love.

To Akanksha, who replied to a question about who she wants to become when she grows up “I want to be myself!”

To Swati who thoughtfully asked me why poor children always wore clothes that were loose for them!

To Younus, who taught me one of the aspects of Asperger’s syndrome with his comment on another Asperger’s child’s way of speaking, “Why is she talking like “National Geographic?”

To Arshad who asked me why the Governor nominates one Anglo-Indian member to the Vidhana Sabha even today!

To Aditi’s naiveté comment on “Don’t drink and drive” - “So that you don’t get susu on the way!”

To Arvind, who lets me experience immense joy through the simple action of just lifting one finger upwards!

The inner child in me

Every child reminds me of the layers that I wear,

Of the masquerades and facades we adults share,

Of interconnectedness beyond petty barriers,

Of tenderness and beauty like that of flowers,

My gratitude to children all over the world,

My fervent wish - bring everyone into your fold!

- Blog post by Sumathi Ramjee

Sumathi is an ABT Practitioner with Special children in Deepika School, ASHA and Bubbles Centre for Autism for over a decade. Sumathi believes that working with children has given a new meaning to life, distinguishing between ‘living’ and ‘living with awareness’

At Snehadhara, she has been a part of our Pipilika program from 2013.

Life Lessons through Pottery

Working with clay, for me is to be in touch with myself. It is the very taproot of life itself. Confronting clay has lead me to explore and live the earthy, intense and passionate side of me.

                                       

I am sharing with you five important lessons clay has taught me through these years:

Patience and Empathy
Clay has its own personality and characteristic that interests me. No matter how experienced and how good the clay might be, it does not necessarily respond to you at all times. It has thought me to approach the medium with utmost patience, understanding and empathy.

Paradoxes of Life
Clay work is full of paradoxes. It is one of the most technically challenging medium of art. Yet, it is used by children. It is simple and yet so complex at the same time. It is an ancient material made of earth yet it is also one of the modern materials of science. Clay is soft, wet and sensuous as well as a strong sturdy substance; resistant as well as pliable.

Keep at it- one can never see the results early
Clay can be moulded into any shape or form. But clay work may not be always easy. You never see the result immediately. The clay work goes through a series of processes before it finally can be called a finished product. Only after it has undergone a firing process does one see the end result. This aspect for me has been most challenging, exciting and mysterious. Just like many of the stages in life clay goes through many stages before it is finally ready.

Accepting change
Clay looks very different in every state. In the beginning it is soft and wet, waxy and cheese-like. When it is medium dry, it is chalky and very delicate. When the piece is fired it takes on a totally new look, very different from any of the previous stages. It has allowed me to accept these changes in the medium, and as an extension that I see in and around me.

Lessons in communication and relationships
When one chooses to work with clay there is always a period of communication between the maker and the medium. This communication mostly involves wishing and  ‘telling’ the clay what you want it to look like and the clay talking back to you about what it can do for you in turn. It is an interaction with you and the capabilities of clay.
There are many ways to shape clay. It can be entirely built by hand or it can be thrown on the wheel. Wheel work can be very calming, sensuous, rhythmic as well as addictive. Both children and adults are drawn to these qualities. Clay allows you to do many things - functional things, decorative things, draw on it, carve on it, dig into it and make a complete mess of it, this is the beauty of working with clay. It allows you to be in your elements and help you develop a free relationship with it.

                                           

Cynthia working with the children at the center

Clay by nature is in a perpetual state of rest. Yet, like all of us, in it lies great potential for interaction and life. Clay has never failed to nourish, calm and motivate me. In clay, as in life, people are not always expecting fantastic results at the end of it but art, many times, is found where one least expects it.
For me, working with clay has been an extension to exploring my emotions, my mind, coping with life and finding new beginnings.

- Blog post by Cynthia Suzan

Cynthia has been a potter, working with clay for over two decades. At Snehadhara’s pottery studio, Maati, Cynthia is a guest faculty exploring pottery as a medium with our children for expression, communication and relaxation.