“It
is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into
childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age”
-
Margaret Mead
(photo - group painting by children)
Joy and fun is contagious so is fear and
doubt.
What do I choose communicate with my child; my fears and apprehensions about his future
or my boundless love for him. I was desperately trying to ride the rocky waves
of doubt and fear, all the while ignoring the deep, serene love that always
exists below.
With all the noblest of intentions I was
figuring out ways and means to fix my child. He should become independent and
worthy. I was blaming the world for not providing enough support to help me and
him in the process. I was living in constant anxiety and guilt for not doing
enough. I feared uninvited curiosity and judgment from family and friends.
I was absolutely ignorant that this state
of doing and not being was least helpful to my child and to me as well. I began
to discover this during the fortnightly sessions of PIPILIKA.
PIPILIKA put the spotlight on me. I learnt
that it is not about my child but it is all about ME. The child has many innate
strengths and gifts that will unfold in time and space in spite of all the
limitations that seem so apparent. The real limitations that prevent this
unfolding are my own anxieties. The
pressure to see the cocoon burst open into a beautiful butterfly in a time
frame set by us is very toxic to life.
PIPILIKA felt like a new experience but in
truth it was revisiting my own self that got buried deep down in duties,
responsibilities and living up to others expectations. It was scary, but the
warmth and genuineness of the PIPILIKA team helped me let my guard down.
(photo - pipilika parent and child session)
Can I paint? Can I sing and dance? Can I
act? Can I play? Can I be creative? The adult in me said, “Of course, you
can’t. You have not learnt any of these skills. But does it matter to the child
in me who is just excited and curious to try them all out, in the most
charmingly clumsy ways. The child in me
opened up and blossomed again.
I learnt that only this inner child in me
can connect and communicate in the most intimate way with my child. This is so
obvious, but easily forgotten. This can always be observed when children play.
They love to do what other children do. Nobody needs to beat them up to do it.
It does not mean that the adult eye for safety and discernment is forgone. It
is about being open and guided to the moment and not being fixated in rigid
ideas.
PIPILIKA reminds you to have fun with our
children. Having fun is being creative and innovative. You crack open from a hard
shell of limiting beliefs and fears. When you are present, the child can sense
this; they feel safe, less anxious and more willing. Little miracles begin to
happen like one tantrum less in a day, willing to try a new food, accepting one
little change in routine. For me these are huge rewards.
PIPILIKA’s tiny connections create a
wonderful tapestry of colour, laughter, play and just being. And I am ever so
grateful for this space and opportunity.
“And
in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your
years.”
-
Abraham Lincoln
Contributed by Achuta Nadapana - a parent, friend and fellow facilitator at Snehadhara Foundation
